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Where Does Self-Confidence Come From?
Self-confidence is not something people are born with. It
results from a combination of factors:
1. Learned skill: Self-confidence is a combination of skills,
not just a single quality. People are not born with it or
without it. It can be learned.
2. Practice: Self-confidence comes from practice. It may appear
to be spontaneous, but it isn’t.
3. Internal locus of control: Self-confidence results from what
psychologists call an internal locus (central point) of control.
This means that people who are self-directing, who accept
responsibility for their own results, have greater
self-confidence.
8 Self-Confidence Builders
There are many concrete, specific things you can do to feel more
confident in challenging life situations. Make note of those
that will help you develop your own sense of self-confidence.
1. Follow your strengths. Self-confidence comes from being the
best “you” possible. It doesn’t come from trying to be someone
else. It is the result of following paths like these:
• Do what comes naturally.
• Develop your talents.
• Follow your convictions.
• Express your own style.
2. Plan ahead. Many people are surprised to hear that
self-confidence comes from something as ordinary as planning.
But think about it; let’s say you are going on a job interview,
almost always an anxiety-producing experience. When you are
prepared, you feel more confident.
3. Take action. Confidence comes from taking action. Break your
challenge down into small steps and take that first step, no
matter how small it seems.
4. Study. The more you know about your subject, the more
confident you will feel. In fact, the lack of self-confidence
almost always stems from a lack of information. We’ve all had
that sick feeling that we don’t fully understand what we are
talking about.
5. Act the part. The following tips will help you begin to
present yourself in a positive way.
• Find a role model. Look for someone who is already successful
in your field. Observe him or her and identify for yourself what
behaviors convey self-confidence.
• Look and act powerful. Watch people who create a powerful
impression. It could be a TV anchor, a character in a movie, or
a coworker. Imagine yourself behaving in a similar way. For an
example, watch the movie Top Hat. Fred Astaire exudes
confidence.
• Be aware of nonverbal behavior that detracts from presenting
yourself with confidence. Ask for feedback from a trusted friend
or watch yourself on videotape.
6. Rehearse for success. One of the most important ways to boost
your self-confidence is by rehearsing important conversations
and presentations. You can never be too prepared. These ideas
will help you practice so that you really understand your
subject:
• Manage your anxiety. Feeling anxious is normal when you are in
a challenging situation. The key is learning to manage anxiety
so it doesn’t paralyze you or diminish your effectiveness.
• Get organized. When your materials are prepared and
well-organized, you will feel better about your ability to
access them. Having information scattered in too many places
makes you feel out of control and undermines your
self-confidence.
7. Persist. Self-confidence is the result of a lot of hard work.
The process takes time. It has been said that success is 99%
persistence and 1% talent.
8. Enjoy your success. When you reach your goal, don’t forget to
give yourself credit for working hard. Be proud of what you’ve
accomplished. Here are some ways you can do this:
• Look in the mirror and say to yourself, “Good work. I’m proud
of you.”
• Think of a way to reward yourself.
• Tell others about your success.
• Write yourself a letter or explore your accomplishment in your
journal.
• Draw a picture expressing your achievement.
Answers to Quiz #1
Items 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 9, and 10 are generally signs of
self-confidence. The others could be seen as self-sabotaging
behaviors.
Answers to Quiz #2
Items 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 8 communicate low self-confidence. (Of
course, there are no 100% right answers, since many of the
statements depend on context, tone of voice, cultural
interpretation, and other factors.)
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Garrett_Coan
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