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How To Build
Confidence In Your Child - Deterring Bullies
Child predators that look for child victims come in many forms.
The more we understand the various different types of people
that prey on kids the better we can stay one step in front of
them and keep kids safe. Arming your child with tips and
techniques to keep themselves safe from bullies is critical to
your child's safety.
Bullies are a type of predator. This is the most common type of
predator your child will likely encounter, too. Bullying is,
sadly, a pervasive issue for kids in just about every school
across the globe.
Bullies prey on children of roughly their own age group that
they perceive as weak and submissive. Bullies themselves have
terrible, inferior self images. Through a very complex series of
internal thought patterns they create behaviors to bolster
themselves by choosing victims they know will be submissive to
them.
Since the reasons behind the bully's behavior can be so complex,
real solutions focus on the "victims" behavior. Teach your child
to be less of a victim. This is why we emphasize teaching kids
to be confident. Confidence is a powerful deterrent to bullying.
If your child is not very confident, then first teach them to at
least project self confidence. We do it every day in our kid's
safety classes and you can do it at home, too.
We start and end every class by teaching the kids our 2 Safety
Rules:
"I Will Always Do My Best!"
"I Will Always Say I Can!"
The kids repeat these themselves and so, have your child say
them daily, too! Say these with them and do it really
enthusiastically! It's a great first step.
Next, play our "Feel Good! Feel Bad!" game with your child. Ask
them to remember a time when they were sad or ill. Show them how
to walk around with their shoulders slumped, head down,
shuffling around. Then ask them to remember a very exciting and
happy time. Ask them to remember a special event and have them
jump up and down and move around the room with their head up,
shoulders back.
When your child understands, announce the start of the game!
Offer a "win" reward at the end for them, like a cupcake or
something, and play it with them for a few minutes. Say, "Feel
Bad!" and slump around with them. Then yell, "Feel Good!" and
bounce around with them smiling and walking tall.
This silly game can be the beginning of an awareness for your
child of what it really feels like to feel good. If they can
play this game, they can learn to project feeling good,
confidence that is, even at times they do not feel like it.
What we also find in our classes is that some of the kids who
are not confident, begin to like how the "Feel Good" part feels
and slowly will begin to engage in good feelings themselves over
time.
Keep in mind there is something more, something deeper when your
child is confident. We notice confident kids display certain
structural changes, physical changes in their bodies that serve
them better than kids that have poor self-images. Confident kids
can control their physical movements a little bit better. At the
same time, they can move more quickly and with finer control of
those movements. We find confident kids can actually focus
better mentally and for longer periods of time.
In other words, these kids are better equipped physically,
mentally and emotionally to learn the actual safety techniques
that could save them from sexual predators than kids that feel
bad about themselves. Kids that hang their head, shuffle around,
are tired or ill, cannot move with as much control or quickness
or think as clearly as kids that are healthy and confident. A
high degree of self confidence and a positive self image matter
in good child safety.
And bullies? Well, they will be pervasive throughout life. The
profile is the same: they look for weak victims. Confidence is
the best victim deterrent.
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