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Five
Ways to Regain Your Lost Self-Confidence
Nobody can hurt you without your consent. There are many
instances in life where your confidence is hit hard. Sometimes
you overcome life's hardness, sometimes you get overwhelmed.
Sometimes your courage and confidence sees you through, but
sometimes your self-confidence gets a beating. However, the
point here to remember is that "nobody can hurt you without your
consent."
The problem is not as important as the impact it had on you,
rather the impact that you let the problem create on you. In
life pain is inevitable but suffering is optional, as the saying
goes. It's purely your choice, and whether you choose to bounce
back or suffer is entirely your prerogative.
There can be many reasons that your self-confidence is hurt. You
may have had a bad marriage and now are heading for a divorce.
You were not chosen for your college's football team; you may
have been laid off. There's definitely a lot of pain involved in
any of the situations. But you don't necessarily have to suffer.
You must arise and resolve to get back your confidence.
The following five ways would help you do just that.
1. Look at the brighter side. If you have been laid off, it
would be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but not more
than that. Losing a job is a terrible thing, but it does not
mean the end of the world.
Who knows it might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe you have got
some time to review your life, get aware of where you are going,
have a look at your likes and hobbies which you could not
develop because of pressures of your job. Maybe this is an
opportunity to start afresh and live your life a new way which
is more in sync with your abilities and aptitude.
Similarly, a divorce may cause great pain but then you weren't
too happy in your marriage either. It probably was just not
meant to be. Now you have a chance to rebuild your life the way
you want it to be.
2. Stop comparing yourself with other people. When we have a
problem we always question god - "oh, god, why me?" Certainly
god gave you a lot of rewards as well.
Did you then get up and ask god -"oh god, why me?" That's what
human nature is all about. We complain and remember god when we
are in trouble or else we are too busy with ourselves.
Stop looking at other people who seem too happy and comfortable
to you from a distance. Stop comparing their comfort with your
suffering.
This will only frustrate you further. Focus on yourself and make
every effort you can make to go out whenever you are feeling
down.
3. Self-pity is very addictive and capable of destroying lives.
Instead of indulging in self-pity (though we all do from time to
time), take control of your life and take responsibility for
your actions, learn from your mistakes and make a fresh start.
4. And yeah…don't be bogged down when you hear a "no". A "no" is
something which even greats like Edison and Ford, too, had to
face. If you look at them positively, you will find that each
"no" actually takes you closer to a "yes." It's been reported
time and time again that Edison conducted more than a thousand
failed experiments before he actually made an electric bulb! So
get going and take an occasional no in stride.
5. Are you standing in your own way? You will notice that
shadows are caused when we stand in the path of sunshine. In our
lives, too, we cause a lot of shadows by standing in the way of
our own happiness. In today's world, it is important to be
flexible. A lot of people will look for a job for months, yet
still reject work coming their way because they are not willing
to adapt to some new job requirements.
Jane, a schoolteacher, was laid off from her job. She kept
trying for months to get a job as a teacher while rejecting
opportunities such as taking private tuitions, being a nanny,
doing copy- editing work as a freelancer. The long wait hurt her
self-confidence even more. Sometimes it is wise to be a little
flexible and adapt ourselves to new job demands rather than to
look exactly for what we lost. It helps regain confidence
quickly which brings along enough energy to get an even better
job in the field of your choice!
Don't forget, there is always a way to regain your lost
self-confidence. You just have to look for it. Because finding
is reserved for those who search. Are you searching for an
answer?
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